Goodbye is the hardest part...

So today is my last day in Kolkata. It is so hard to believe that 3 months have gone by already. Tomorrow I will catch a 30 hour train to Agra, spend a night there, and see the Taj Mahal. Then I will take a bus to Delhi and go to the airport, where my flight leaves for Paris early Wednesday morning. I'll be in Paris for a week, and leave on Tuesday evening, with a short stop in Dublin, and then back to the States. I fly into DC, so I won't be back in PA until probably the 13th of December. I think I will be glad to not be living out of a suitcase anymore, but it is definitely sad to leave India. I have gotten used to the craziness of the traffic and the sounds of the city. I will miss so many things about living here- the call to prayer from the mosque that wakes me up every morning, the women in their beautiful saris, the barrage of color from the marketplaces, riding the bus every morning hearing the ticket collecters hollering their destinations out the side of the bus, stopping every few hours to have a cup of chai (and being unable to turn one down...), the incense burning in even the most humble shop, the candlelit stalls in the evening with men stopping for a snack on their way home... so many sights, sounds and smells that I have come to love. And so many people that I will miss as well. Not only my roommates, and other travellers that I have met while being here, but the kids at the shelter home (who, on my last day there on Thursday not only thanked me for playing with them and giving them coconut oil and powder, but actually sat me in the middle of a circle and laid their tiny hands on me and prayed for me (in Bengali, of course) for safe travels and that I would come back soon. It was also really tough to say goodbye to the girls at the center- I've been working with them for 3 months now and they will miss me as much as I will miss them. So many incredible people that I have met here, and some of them I know I will see again someday, but it is still difficult to leave. But I, like the rest of us, am trapped in the grip of time, bound by chains of seconds, minutes and hours that march by, deaf to my pleas to slow down. The passage of time is inescapable for all of us, and while sometimes that is a good thing (I doubt I will want to slow down any hours on my train ride) it can be difficult when we are in a place that we love and are forced to leave. Yet change is part of life, and while we may hate it at times, we must either embrace it or live a static, fearful existence, and eventually be dragged kicking and screaming into a different stage of life. So I guess it is better to enjoy the moments that we have while they are here, and not to hold on too tightly to them lest it hurt even more when we have to let go...

"I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
Ecclesiates 3: 10-11

A time for everything...

So yes, I realize that I have been horrible at keeping everyone updated this month. My excuse is that I finally found enough things to do- and when I say enough, I mean too many! I've literally been getting up at 7 every day and not getting home until 10:30/11 at night. My one roommate never sees me anymore because I am always out. It never rains, it pours- the first month I was going crazy trying to find something to do, and now I'm going crazy because I have too much to do! I am still volunteering at Destiny Center three days a week, but now on Tuesday and Thursday I am helping out at a shelter for street children. It has been a really great experience- very practical and the kids are great (as are the other volunteers there!) Plus it has been nice to have some variety and be doing different things. In addition to that, I have been visiting an HIV hospice with my friend (which is all the way at the southwestern tip of the city, so the travel time is ridiculous), as well as taking on two more video projects. I am still trying to get some footage and put everything together before I leave... which is only another week! I also am organizing travel plans to go to Agra and Paris, as well as trying to meet friends and keep up with other volunteers that I've met while being here. So I haven't had time to post, especially because there is so much to say! I am really sad about leaving India- I don't want to go. I've gotten used to so many things here-at the children's shelter they feed us lunch and I sit on the floor and eat rice and dahl with my hands like all the Indian kids- it is great. I've gotten better at extracting change from reluctant shopkeepers, perfected the head wobble, and figured out how to get pretty much anywhere in the city by bus. (although some things I will never adjust to... I still hate wearing a scarf that slips off my shoulder every 5 seconds even when I am sitting perfectly still. I hate this so much that I find myself gloating every time I see an Indian girl fix her scarf- theirs seem to be superglued in place, but every now and then you catch someone...)
At any rate, I am trying to pack every minute full before I leave- I still have quite a bit I would like to do, (like ride a tram and go to the Botanical Gardens and learn a song in Bengali) as well as some last minute shopping and trying to find time to say goodbye to all the friends I have made while I have been here. I am also trying to find the time to enjoy the sights and smells that make up Incredible India- I know that I am making memories here that will last a lifetime.

Diwali

Diwali lights

So it's been a while since I've posted about a puja... not for lack of them here, but I thought you all back home might be tired of hearing about it. But last week was Diwali, which is the festival of lights, and it was pretty cool. (There was also a Kali puja to start things off, including bagpipes (?!?!) but that was at midnight so I missed it.) Still not entirely clear on which festival Diwali is celebrating (I think it's the triumphant return of Rama to his kingdom, but no one else seemed to know anything about that) but it is sort of like Christmas and there are lots of fireworks everywhere. So it's loud and bright and very exciting. They have lamps that they put in the doorways and shops to light up the house, and they are everywhere!! I went out with some of my Indian friends and the first order of business, of course, was to buy fireworks. Which people just set off in the street, everywhere, and some of them are pretty noisy if you are not paying attention. So the boys took over and were in charge of lighting everything (I love this picture- it is so true that boys will be boys- India, American or wherever, if there's fire, that's where they want to be!)

They had noise makers and some roman candles and such (they gave me the tame ones- only sparklers.) There were also these really cool ones that made ashen snakes as they burned, which I had never seen before so I thought they were pretty cool. Then we met up with another friend and went to his house/courtyard to sit and talk and (you guessed it) light more fireworks.There were a bunch of Indian guys just hanging around, teasing each other and, well, being boys. Every time they would light a bigger firework they would all run over and jump in the sparks. There were some little kids as well- a brother and sister who were probably about 9 and 7.

The little girl didn't stop laughing the entire time we were there- she was having the time of her life. And her brother was taking custody of all the matches and supervising the fireworks. He was pretty impressive- he could even put the lit matches in his mouth and put them out just like a real fire-eater. And once he saw my suprise, you couldn't get him to stop showing off. He even warmed up enough to me to allow me to light one of the fireworks. There was also a baby girl (still not sure who she actually belonged to) that was passed around and was absolutely adorable. It was a lot of fun to just hang out and see how Indians celebrate. I love getting to see those glimpses of Indian life, not as a tourist, but with real people, sharing in their lives.

A more thoughtful post...

Sometimes I feel that it is hard for us to grasp the size of our planet these days. It used to be when you traveled to a faraway place, it took a significant amount of time to make the journey because you had to get there by means of a boat (or camel or whatever). But with the advent of modern technology and trains and planes, you can be half a world away in less than one day, a fact which I have struggled with since I arrived here. And with internet and the extent of global communication, the world shrinks even smaller and the distance is more difficult to believe. But yesterday, it finally sunk in that I am in INDIA. I feel like I've been to the edge of the world. And back. I had the incredible opportunity to see how Indians truly live. Swapna, one of the girls at the center where I work, invited me to accompany them to her eldest brother's house in her village outside the city. So at 7:30, I met the girls at our bus stop and we set out on our journey. First we went to Sealdah Station, where we caught a train out of the city. After about an hour, we arrived in a small town. Then we caught an auto-rickshaw and traveled further out into the countryside, past rice paddys and lagoons and tiny huts. Then we proceeded to walk down a small brick/beaten mud track for at least 20 minutes more until, after many twists and turns and I was

completely lost and hadn't the faintest idea where we were, we arrived in Swapna's village. It was, literally, the middle of nowhere. And it was also the heartbeat of India. Finally I got a chance to see what daily life is like for millions of people who live in this country. And it was amazing. Everything was so green and beautiful and
peaceful, and so different from the city- and yet, you could see men by the side of the road at chai stands and certain aspects of village life that have been carefully reconstructed in Kolkata. As we walked, there was still the random incongruity of being in the midst of such a small village and then passing a pandel with huge speakers blaring some American hip hop song into the stillness of the rice paddys. (What?!?!?!) There was electricity (and even a tiny black and white television set and DVD player so we could watch Hindi films,) and yet it was obviously a poor village. Sitting on the single bed in a packed mud house looking around me, I saw a shelf overhead with pots and bags of odds and ends, and then I realized that I was looking at all of the possesions of the entire household. And while some would visit a place like this and feel sorry for them, appalled that people live like this and think that something must be done so that they don't have to anymore, I, admittedly being a bit shocked that people live
like this, was infinitely more impressed by the fact that people LIVE like this- and how they live! They were not miserable or living in squalor- they were clean and beautiful and happy. I didn't feel a bit sorry for them- I would say that perhaps I was even a tad bit jealous because life here is so simple. I saw the smiles and shared the laughter of the ordinary people in this place- and they cared for me and welcomed me (and wouldn't stop feeding me) and were so excited that I had come- even though no one spoke a word of English. It was such a different atmosphere than anywhere I have been so far- very relaxed and simple- and I finally felt that I was half a world away. And in saying that, I have also begun to realize that it is going to be more difficult than I thought for me to come back. Because I finally feel like I have been far away, home suddenly seems further away as well.

The vastness of the world and the realization that there are really millions of people in this country tucked away in villages like this one made me feel so tiny and insignificant- while at the same time making me aware of how big God really is, because He knows the intimate details of each life and loves each one of these precious people, some of whom have never been out of their

village, much less traveled to a different country. Today my horizons were expanded, and the world seems so much bigger to me now. It is one thing to say that Jesus died for the whole world; it is completely different to feel like you have been there. And it just makes me think- how dare I ever believe that I am the center of anything? How can I be selfish enough to imagine that my needs and my problems are of any importance whatsoever? There is so much more to life than what is in front of us, and sometimes we need to get a staggering glimpse of the immensity of things, so we understand what is truly important. My visit to this village was a very touching and humbling experience that I will not soon forget.

Magnificent Holy Father/ I stand in awe of all I see/ Of all the things You have created/ And still You choose to think of me...

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