Some restaurant vignettes...

So here are some true restaurant stories that have happened to me while in India:

Chinese I
(at a fancy restaurant near work)
Sherry: What kind of noodles are those men having at that table over there?
(blank look from waiter)
Sherry: Can I have (points) the same noodles as they (points) are having?
(blank look from waiter)
Sherry: (sighs) I'll have the chicken tikka masala.
Waiter bows, then walks away.
Karin: Um. Can I order?
Waiter turns, looking suprised, then takes my order.

Chinese II
(same restaurant, a few days later, with John, the CEO of Destiny Productions)
Sherry: I'll have the American chopsuey.
Waiter nods, turns to me.
Karin: I'll have the Chicken Haaka noodles
Waiter bows, then walks away.
John: Can I order?
But this time the waiter has walked even further away, so he doesn't hear. After some while, we get his attention and he comes back.
John: I'll have the tandoori chicken.
Waiter: One?
John: Half.
Waiter: One?
John: Half.
Waiter: One?
John: No, half. One (holds up finger) half tandoori chicken.
Waiter: Half.
John: Yes, half.
Waiter: One?
And walks away.
Wouldn't you know John got the whole chicken....

Hotel Circular
(at the hotel restaurant across the street from us)
Sherry: I'll have the tandoori chicken.
Waiter: Half?
Sherry: No, whole.
Waiter: Half?
Sherry: Whole.
Waiter: Is werry big. Half.
Sherry: But then I can eat the rest for lunch tomorrow.
Waiter nods.
(Sherry gets half a chicken)
Karin: I'll have the mutton khosa.
Danielle: I'd like the paneer tikka masala.
Waiter leaves. A short while later, he is back.
Waiter: I'm sorry ma'am. One item, we do not have. We have no paneer.
Danielle: Then I'll have the vegetable curry instead.
After what feels like an hour, our food comes. Not only is there paneer in Sherry's naan, but Danielle also finds paneer in her veg dish as well, despite the fact that they don't have any.

Peter Cat
(an upscale restaurant on Park St.)
Danielle: What is the papad? Is it crunchy?
Waiter: Yes, is crunchy.
Danielle: All right then, I'll have the naan.
When our order comes, there is a papad, on a plate, all by itself. It sits there through the entire meal. We both have a nibble, but it remains largely untouched. The waiter comes to clear the plates. The papad sits. We order dessert. The papad sits. The waiter comes back, removes my empty glass from the table, and the papad still sits. Finally Danielle puts her napkin on the plate before they will take away the item we never ordered to begin with...

Taj
(a tiny Indian restaurant on Sutter St.)
Danielle: I'll have the omelette, with no extra oil.
Karin: (opens mouth to order as waiter walks away)
Waiter returns, slaps a pad of paper and pen on the table, and walks away again. We look at each other in disbelief. We write down our own order. Which is then copied on the same page, with prices next to it, for the bill.